Jelly Trumpet – The Search for the most wonderful celebrity
Welcome to our sample guest script for Sandi Toksvig on Jelly Trumpet. Just a bit of fun which we hope will lead to Sandi guesting on ‘the world’s only comedy podcast about creativity.’
Thank you for reading!
S/FX: BONGOS BEING PLAYED
QUEEN ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE:
Arrête ça Nigel.
S/FX: DOOR BELL RINGING
JIM:
What was that strange sound?
MR B:
[VERY TETCHY] The doorbell Jim. [RESIGNED] I’ll get it.
S/FX: CREAKY DOOR OPENING
MR B:
Look Jim. It’s Sandi Toksvig.
JIM:
Can’t be. She’s not writing a book.
MR B:
Good afternoon Sandi.
SANDI:
Good afternoon…What is that, er tall thing?
JIM:
That’s a pedestal Sandi.
MR B:
Yes. A pedestal for you, with a comfy chair on top, for the interview.
JIM:
We’ve all got one.
MR B:
We like our celebrities on pedestals.
[CONT…]
SANDI:
That’s very kind but…
MR B:
I know what you’re thinking.
QUEEN ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE:
It is a long way down. But Nigel will catch you if you topple off.
SANDI:
Nigel?
MR B:
Nigel is our ‘go-to-squirrel’ and all round musician and much more besides.
JIM:
He’s also a sniffer squirrel.
SANDI:
He’s huge!
MR B:
Yes. And very rare.
JIM:
Very rare. His family are from the Balkans.
SANDI:
I see. The Balkans.
JIM:
Sandi, we’d like you to be very funny and tell the world you love Jelly Trumpet.
MR B:
Share the goodness and we’ll appoint you Jelly Trumpet ambassador to the stars.
JIM:
Very well Mr b. Let’s get on.
S/FX: CLUNK, CLUNK, CLICK AND A WHOSH OF STEAM
MR B:
Ready. FOR ALL MANKIND!
SANDI:
A squirrel the size of a St Bernard? He’s holding some Bongos.
JIM:
Yes. He is large Sandi. Nigel is our resident bongo playing giant squirrel O’, and this is Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine from 12th century France.
QUEEN ELEANOR:
Ma dame.
SANDI:
What exactly is this madhouse?
TONY (VOICE OVER GUY):
Not a madhouse Sandi. This is Jelly Trumpet.
INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN STARTS
MR B:
Well Jim, was Sandi the most wonderful celebrity?
JIM:
Close.