
Another attempt is made to return Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine back to her own century (you’re not holding your breath are you)?
Mr b wants to trail a new button, much to Jim’s worry. In fact, the worry could possibly be PPSS, Post Podcast Sadness Syndrome.
Mr b and the Queen cajole Jim, ‘The Writer Man’ to attempt another draft of the script. Both are worried of the consequences of Jim’s lacklustre writing.
Sadly, Jim attempts to write Cate Blanchett (‘there’s a lot to love’) into the podcast. Meanwhile, Mr b swears that NOTHING can go wrong with his new button…”hmmm!”
You can listen to the sample of the episode on this page or popover to your streaming platform of choice and search for ‘Jelly Trumpet’.
Time to dive into the silly, surreal and odd world of Jelly Trumpet. It’s not for the feint of heart or those with a closed mind, o’ and we have some great music from the house band ‘We Paint Houses.’
Stuff We’ll Hear in this Episode:
- How Queen Eleanor would change the game of cricket
- Jim and Mr b disagree about the colour orange
- A single joke about time travellers
- What Jim has loaded into the gun that shoots Tony ‘the voice-over guy’

The 9 Trumpets of Creativity
Our fifth Trumpet of Creativity is ‘Substitute’.
What is the wildest substitute you can make in your work? Try it with a past piece of work and see what you can substitute to change the idea, focus the idea differently, tell another side of the story.
Check out ‘The 9 Trumpets of Creativity’ page (download a PDF, if you like).
In short, in this episode:
00:00 The 9 Trumpets of Creativity
00:00 Challenge at Home
00:00 Micro Sitcom: The Start Up, Mary ‘The Entrepreneur’ in ‘Seek Kale!’
00:00 Challenge Jim
Plus
00:00 Tales from Jim’s Medicine Journal
00:00 House Band – ‘We Paint Houses’
00:00 Ends
Interview Countdown
12 Questions in 12 Minutes, with Paul Albertson
We delve into Paul’s’ creative world and discover more about his joy in being an actor and an award winning voice-over artist.
Plus:
Bonus Episode with Paul
We continue the conversation and explore more about Paul’s appreciation of Orson Wells.
Useful Stuff from This Episode:
Our guest:
Paul Albertson, actor and voice-over artist
Linkedin: Paul Albertson
Website: Paul Albertson VO
Support Jelly Trumpet on Patreon:
[Exclusive stuff from Jelly Trumpet]
Our Sponsor:
Conversion Detectives
The Band:
We Paint Houses
What can you make today?
About Jelly Trumpet
We’re a podcast all about creativity. Every episode is aimed at stimulating your imagination and making you laugh with silly, surreal bits & bobs.
Sign up to the newsletter for sporadic creativity tips you can use every day, o’ and some rather silly jokes.
Sponsored by Conversion Detectives, the creative digital marketing agency
Read the Script
Season 2 Episode 06 – Substitute
RIFF 1
S/FX: FADE IN
MR B:
Ready for the episode Jim?
JIM:
I was just thinking how lucky we are. Getting back in one piece from the last episode.
MR B:
It was a close-run thing.
JIM:
We could have been stuck in that Japanese computer game forever! Being chased by psychotic remote-controlled mini bears…
MR B:
But we made it back to sunny St Albans.
JIM:
Do you admit you pressed the wrong button?
MR B:
Do you admit starting an episode with only a first draft of the script was wrong?
JIM:
Well, I…
ELEANOR:
Well, Mot Homme?
JIM:
Your majesty? I…well…you see…This episode is the third draft!
MR B:
Don’t change the subject Jim. You’re always doing that.
JIM:
I thought we were going to drop her majesty Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine back into medieval France?
MR B:
The podcast engine ran out of steam and Jelly Trumpet juice. I’m looking into alternative power sources, a bit like the script…
JIM:
We’ve a show to do!
MR B:
HUZZAH!
S/FX: NIGEL PLAYS THE BONGOS
JIM:
For God’s sake Nigel cut that out.
S/FX: NIGEL PLAYS THE BONGOS
JIM:
[cont.] Mr b do something.
ELEANOR:
Nigel ici!
MR B:
Eleanor, her majesty, has been knitting something for Nigel..
S/FX: THE SOUND OF PAWS SCAMPERING ON A WOOD FLOOR
JIM:
That’s metal not wool.
MR B:
Chainmail to be exact.
JIM:
Chainmail? For a squirrel the size of a St Bernard? Why?
ELEANOR:
Protection. Nigel needs protection if he is to survive this thing you call ‘un podcast amusant!’
JIM:
I know. We almost lost him…[EMOTIONALLY] if it hadn’t been for Nigel…
MR B:
[SOOTHING] Now then. Now then. Let’s look forward. Let’s get on with Jelly Trumpet.
JIM:
Yes. The show must go on. We must give the world creative succor. Mr b! The button!
MR B:
I’ve got a new one.
JIM:
O’ God!
MR B:
Coffee? Wait till you see what the new button does.
S/FX: COFFEE BEING POURED INTO A MUG
JIM:
Why? Why? Why a new button? God no!
ELEANOR:
Reste immobile Nigel!
S/FX: SOUND OF A SQUIRREL CHIRPING
JIM:
All is lost!
MR B:
FOR ALL MANKIND!
S/FX: SOUND OF BONGOS
S/FX: BUTTON BEING PUSHED
S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET JINGLE
TRAILER
TONY:
Welcome to Jelly Trumpet. The world’s only comedy Podcast about creativity.
Jelly Trumpet makes you more creative with tips, tricks and ideas for expanding your imagination. Especially good for business people wanting to be creative online!
In this episode:
• A checklist for being more creative called ‘The Nine Trumpets of Creativity’, our fifth Trumpet is: ‘Substitute’ ideas.
• Challenge at Home. A creative exercise for you to try at home and…
• Challenge Jim, where Mr b challenges me with an exercise in creativity
Plus
• A brand-new micro sitcom called ‘The Start up’ with our hero Mary ‘The Entrepreneur’ starring in an episode titled: ‘Seek Kale’, Part 1. Part 2 later.
AND
• Our very special guest is Paul Albertson will take part in ‘Interview Countdown, 12 questions in 12 minutes!
S/FX: JELLLY TRUMPET JINGLE
9 TRUMPETS OF CREATIVITY
JIM:
This season on Jelly Trumpet we’re talking about the ‘9 Trumpets of Creativity’.
It’s a list of nine different ways of being more creative. Last episode we talked about the Magnify and Minify tool.
This episode: Trumpet 5, ‘Substitute.’
There’s a PDF of all ‘9 Trumpets of Creativity’ which you can DOWNLOAD from the Jelly Trumpet website.
We adapted this list of creative tools from Osbourne’s Checklist also known as SCAMPER.
Why didn’t we leave the list alone? Well, like you, we’re pushing our creativity further than it ever thought possible. So, we make our own rules. Ha Ha!
If you’ve listened to the first season of Jelly Trumpet, you’ll know we made great play of keeping a journal of all our creative working. We called the journal ‘Your Medicine’. The idea is you build up your own tool chest of ideas, the journal becoming your creative coach.
So, here we go with No. 5 in our ‘9 Trumpets of Creativity’.
Substitute
If you’re a writer you create characters, if you’re in marketing you create the campaigns, visual artists create, well, stuff to look at.
We’re usually happy with what we come with first time. Wait, that’s not true. We want the very best, the most original.
When something exists it’s easy to change it. It’s even possible to start with a substitution idea.
OK. Bring that idea, character, campaign to mind. What can you substitute?
A BEAT
When writing characters, it’s easy. Why not make that person a squirrel the size of a St Bernard? Why not time travel and substitute a character for Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine. Why not substitute St Albans for a Japanese computer game?
What happens, for me, is endless fun and more ideas simply by making a substitution.
What’s the wildest substitution you could make? Say, you’re a painter, you paint a landscape, why not substitute some part of that painting with blank white space? Then how about projecting onto that space something with movement. You’ve made a moving picture with paint and a projector.
The Takeaway:
Don’t just try one substitute. As we’ve said before, these tools or ‘trumpets become even more powerful when you set a quota. Take the idea. Generate 25 substitutions. You’re bound to find a new, imaginative angel…er angle…
S/FX: INTERLUDE MUSIC
RIFF 2
S/FX: THE SOFT HUMMING OF A COFFEE MACHINE
JIM:
Well, I enjoyed that.
MR B:
Yes. Very interesting. I hope it helps our listener to try new things.
JIM:
I’m feeling a bit sad.
ELEANOR:
How so Mot Homme? Tristesse?
JIM:
Oui, your majesty. I think it could be PPSS.
MR B:
PPSS?
JIM:
Post Podcast Sadness Syndrome.
S/FX: BONGOS PLAYING
ELEANOR:
Arrête l’écureuil! Chien imbécile!
JIM;
It was quite a shock surviving the last episode of Jelly Trumpet.
MR B:
I can get JB, the singer, out. You know, a short song from JB always cheers you up.
JIM:
Worth a go Mr b.
S/FX: A CREAKING DOOR OPENING
MR B:
JB. JB. Good boy! Out you come.
JIM:
You never did tell me why you keep JB in that cupboard under your mixing desk.
MR B:
I can’t tell you Mr Jim. It’s one of the mysteries of St Albans.
ELEANOR:
Stay still Nigel!
JIM:
She spoils that squirrel.
MR B:
JB? Good boy.
JIM:
JB looks a bit torpid.
MR B:
He’s just had his second bowl of semolina.
JIM:
And why does JB only eat milk-based products?
MR B:
O’, it goes back to when we first found him running free round Verulamium park. Like a singer in search of a band…
JIM:
You mean? JB is a feral singer?
MR B:
That’s right. The only way we could get him out of the park and here was offering him half a dozen Mini Milks.
JIM:
I see. Well, we’ll come back to that. What’s JB going to sing for us?
MR B:
He does requests.
cMAC:
Coming up ‘Challenge at Home.’
JIM:
Just how did you programme a coffee machine to give the running order of the show?
MR B:
Wasn’t easy Mr Jim. I had to remove the Russian hackers for a start. Then add all manner of tools to make the best gizmo, that frankly, money can’t buy. All in case, you know, in case the podcast, er…
JIM:
In case the draft script I’ve written goes wrong?
MR B:
Exactly! Now if I just offer JB a tummy rub we’ll get a song out of him.
S/FX: LOUD PURRING SOUND LIKE A GIANT CAT
JIM:
He likes that!
MR B:
Yes. JB thrives on milk and tummy rubs.
JIM:
I think I need a song to warm my mind and fill my soul with joy Mr b.
MR B:
JB? JB, sing Xxxx [MR B TO CHOOSE SOME BALLAD / ‘WE PAINT HOUSES’ TRACK]
JB SINGS A COUPLE OF LINES
JIM:
That’s entered my soul, soothed my heart and uplifted all the fibers in my body.
MR B:
Great! JB, back in the cupboard. Tapioca tonight. Who’s a good boy? That’s right you’re a good boy.
S/FX: LOUD PURRING SOUND LIKE A GIANT CAT
S/FX: CREAKING DOOR CLOSING
JIM:
Funny how much a feral singer can change one’s mood.
MR B:
That and Rioja.
JIM:
O’ yes and Rioja.
TONY:
Challenge at home!
CHALLENGE AT HOME
JIM:
You can illustrate this little exercise in any way you like, with words, with a drawing, some music, a clay pot even. Whatever your medium. Perhaps try a new medium. If you write draw, if you make music write a sketch or monologue.
The exercise is to finish this sentence: ‘I woke up this morning and…’
I remember being given this exercise at the end of a standup up comedy workshop as homework. The next week I came back with a whole routine and it was one of those occasions when the exercise led to something greater.
I finished the sentence like this.
‘I woke up this morning and decided to rid the world of evil.’
A routine I wouldn’t have had otherwise. The routine went on something like:
‘I woke up this morning and decided to rid the world of evil. My method, superglue’.
The routine featured me gluing people to various things, like Instagram influencers to their mirrors etc.
The Takeaway:
I also learnt something else from this exercise. To just start. When faced with a project you have to start, you will NEVER have the perfect opening line. So, give yourself part of a sentence that is interesting and can be finished in any number of ways. You might hit yourself with an answer at once or you may have to set a quota. Remember you can always come back and change the line. The important thing is to start.
RIFF 3
S/FX: A LOUD THUNK!
MR B:
I’m a bit worried about this next part of the script Jim.
JIM:
Why’s that?
MR B:
It’s a third draft, correct?
JIM:
That’s right!
MR B:
One thing. Had you been drinking when you wrote the third draft?
JIM:
What makes you think that Mr b?
MR B:
Well, Mr Jim when you drink you get VERY affectionate.
JIM:
Do I?
ELEANOR:
Yes you do. I have seen it. Nothing disrespectful. Your whole world floods with love. Amour et plaisir
MR B:
Had you been drinking Jim?
JIM:
[TO MR B] No. No. No. No. No. I never, ever drink and write or drink and drive or drink and read. Never, never, never, never, never…wait…erm…I may…
MR B:
Read the script.
JIM:
OK. Where are we? I see. Here we go I love you Mr b, I really, really, really love you…
ELEANOR:
O’ non!
JIM:
And you! You’re a wonderful queen a really great monarch. The BEST!
S/FX: BONGOS BEING PLAYED
JIM:
[CONT.] Nigel! Music to my ears.
MR B:
What we need is…
ELEANOR:
Draft four.
MR B:
Yes. We need him to write draft four. In the meantime, let’s put on The Start up micro sitcom and we’ll get Jim to write the fourth draft of this episode.
JIM:
I love EVERYONE…I really do…You’re beautiful. I love you, I love you, I love you…a
S/FX: THE STARTUP THEME TUNE
THE STARTUP: SEEK KALE
PART 1
TONY:
The Startup. A micro sitcom.
In this episode Mary ‘The Entrepreneur’ is attending an eating for entrepreneurs’ course in some godforsaken office block in Borehamwood.
SCENE 1:
A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE GATHERED IN A MEETING ROOM. A LARGE SCREEN IN FRONT OF THEM
MARY:
[TO HER NEIGHBOUR] Hi, I’m Mary. I’m an entrepreneur.
CLAIRE:
Welcome to the ‘Eat Yourself to Victory in Business’ course, Part 1. I’m Claire V. That’s ‘V’ for victory. Let’s get started.
MARY RAISES HER HAND
CLAIRE:
Yes?
MARY:
Is there Wi-Fi?
CLAIRE:
Nein. I mean no. We will now start the process.
MARY RAISES HER HAND AGAIN
CLAIRE:
Yes?
MARY:
Can I leave the room for a moment?
CLAIRE:
Don’t you want to see all before you fall?
MARY:
Well…
CLAIRE:
The victory is in your hands, in your mouth, in your stomach. In your BOWELS!
STAND!
S/FX: SOUND OF CHAIRS SCRAPPING ON THE FLOOR
CLAIRE:
Repeat after me…I swear loyalty to the spiralizer, the smoothie, wheatgrass, avocado and pledge that I as a courageous eater will always eat kale.
Seek Kale!
Seek Kale!
Seek Kale!
S/FX: A BUTTON BEING CLICKED
S/FX: THE GROUP GASPS
CLAIRE:
What do we have on the screen?
MARY:
It’s a double mocha Victoria Sponge Frappuccino with whipped cream, sprinkles, a stick of marzipan and on the side a chocolate croissant stuffed with an ice cream sundae.
CLAIRE:
That’s right. FILTH!
We must seek out…
THE GROUP:
SEEK KALE!
SEEK KALE!
SEEK KALE!
THE START UP: SEEK KALE
END OF PART 1
S/FX: THE STARTUP THEME TUNE
TONY:
Part 2 of the Startup later!
CREATIVE RITUALS
TONY:
Creative Rituals!
JIM:
In season 2 we’re highlighting a book called ‘Daily Rituals’ by Mason Currey. It’s full of short essays about the rituals creative people have used in their lives.
What a load of mad people creatives are. I mean the things they do to retain and carry on in their creative fields is mind-thumping. The commitment of some is beyond belief.
Brothers and sisters, I give you one Mr Antony Trollope, novelist. This man wrote 47 novels and 16 other books.
He worked as a civil servant at the General Post Office for thirty-three years.
He was at this ‘table’ every morning at 5:30 am. Someone brought him a cup of coffee, an old groom who he paid an extra £5 a year. He also credited that coffee and that groom for his success. Trollope wrote for three hours before dressing and going to work.
He had a watch on the desk and set himself the target of writing 250 words every quarter of an hour. I mean wow!
He started each session rereading the previous day’s work and then he was off.
That’s commitment. If he finished a novel before his three hours were up, he would immediately take a fresh sheet of paper and start a new one.
The Takeaway
Can you train yourself, like Antony Trollope NOT to be distracted and churn out creative work at that rate for that length of time, all before your regular work?
I believe you can.
I find it hard to work longer than three hours but I’m going to work at increasing my creative time every day. Without Rioja.
S/FX: COMING UP JINGLE/MUSIC
COMING UP
TONY:
Coming up!
JIM:
• Interview Countdown
• Challenge Jim, Mr b will issue Jim a challenge
• And List of the week
Sponsored by Conversion Detectives, the really creative digital marketing agency. Search Conversion Detectives.
RIFF 4
S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET TUNE
ELEANOR:
How is he?
MR B:
He’s dozing now. Don’t think we should wake him.
ELEANOR:
What did you give him?
MR B:
Extra strong coffee, two bacon sarnies, a bag of ready salted crisps and a Lion Bar, then more coffee and a picture of Cate Blanchett.
ELEANOR:
Cate Blanchett?
MR B:
He loves Cate Blanchett.
ELEANOR:
There’s a lot to love. Best wake him.
MR B:
Jim…Jim…wakey, wakey!
JIM:
Where am I supposed to be?
MR B:
Here Mr Jim.
ELEANOR:
Oui. Here.
JIM:
O’ no. Not again.
MR B:
No worries.
ELEANOR:
That is right. No worries.
JIM:
The script!
MR B:
We need another draft Jim.
ELEANOR:
Yes. We don’t know what we are doing.
S/FX: SOUND OF BONGOS
JIM:
Nigel does.
MR B:
Here’s your Mac Book
S/FX: FURIOUS TYPING AT HYPER SPEED
JIM:
Here you go. Fourth draft.
MR B:
Looks good Mr Jim. See, your majesty.
ELEANOR:
He appears to have written… I don’t think Jelly Trumpet has the budget for this.
MR B:
What?
ELEANOR:
See, here.
MR B:
[READING] Effects: a knock on the door. Jim opens the door and in walks Cate Blanchett. Jim, chap, we need to change this before we get to this bit, erm…[READING] Cate is dressed as…erm.
JIM.
What’s wrong?
MR B:
Jelly Trumpet is not wish fulfilment.
JIM:
I see. You are right Mr b.
MR B:
Write something else.
S/FX; FURIOUS TYPING
JIM:
Here you go.
MR B:
[READING] Effects: a knock on the door. Jim opens the door and in walks Cate Blanchett. Cate says hello and leaves for something really interesting.
JIM:
What do you think?
MR B:
Sounds about right.
ELEANOR:
[SOFTLY] Aime-le
S/FX: INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN THEME TUNE
INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN
TONY:
Interview Countdown!
Welcome to Xxxxx.
Xxxxx is…
JIM:
Thank you Xxxx Xxxxxx. If you would like to know more about Xxxxx and his / her work you can find him / her at XXXxxxx. Contact details are also on the Jelly Trumpet website.
RIFF 5
S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET THEME
JIM:
O’ it’s ‘Challenge Jim’ time isn’t it?
MR B:
It is.
S/FX: SOUND OF BONGOS
JIM:
What…
MR B:
I told Nigel he could have a solo. He’s been a very good squirrel.
JIM:
Has he?
MR B:
Yes. He’s been stripping the varnish off that old chair with his needle teeth.
JIM:
With his teeth?
MR B:
With his teeth.
JIM:
Sounds like something I’d write when sober.
ELEANOR:
Then we paint the chair gold and I will have a throne.
JIM:
What?
MR B:
If you remember her majesty Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine is currently staying with us due to difficulties with the podcast steam pump and the, er button. Although I have a new button now.
ELEANOR:
Bravo Mr b!
MR B:
Thank you, Queen Eleanor. I mean your majesty.
JIM:
Well, I suppose it has to be. A new button. Nothing can go wrong eh?
MR B:
Nothing Jim. Absolutely nothing! Want your challenge now?
JIM:
Yes. Let’s get this out of the way. I have writing to do…
MR B:
Very well Mr Jim. And now…
S/FX: CHALLENGE JIM THEME
CHALLENGE JIM
TONY:
Challenge Jim!
S/FX: CHALLENGE JIM JINGLE/MUSIC
MR B:
Each episode we challenge Jim with a creative exercise.
JIM:
I’m ready.
MR B:
The challenge this episode Mr Jim is… You have one minute to pitch a rewrite of a sitcom. The sitcom is Friends. Go!
JIM:
But, but…OK.
MR B:
We’re off!
[MR B THROWS IN DIFFERENT IDEAS / DISTRACTIONS AND COUNTS JIM DOWN]
MR B:
Moving on.
TONY’S WORD OF THE EPISODE
TONY:
Tony’s Word of the Episode!
TONY:
Influ-pointless! Influ-pointless!
JIM:
Thank you, Tony. The definition of which is social media influencers are pointless.
MR B:
I’d rather believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden.
JIM:
Yes. They’re useful.
S/FX; SOUND OF SOMETHING CRUNCHY BEING EATEN
RIFF 6
MR B:
No. no, no, no…I didn’t mean that…
JIM:
Phew!
S/FX; SOUND OF SOMETHING CRUNCHY BEING EATEN
MR B:
I’VE GOT A NEW BUTTON YOU KNOW!
S/FX; SOUND OF SOMETHING CRUNCHY BEING EATEN
JIM:
WHAT?
MR B:
A new button.
S/FX; SOUND OF SOMETHING CRUNCHY BEING EATEN
JIM:
What is that crunching noise? Is Nigel gnawing his nuts again?
MR B:
See, if I press this orange button…
JIM:
What is Eleanor eating?
MR B:
Mini Cheddars. Well, if I press the orange…
JIM:
Mini Cheddars? Really?
MR B:
Yes. She likes a bag or two when she’s watching the cricket over the road.
S/FX: TYPING
JIM:
I’ve really got to get another draft underway. Mini Cheddars and cricket? Sometimes Mr b I don’t think I’m actually writing this podcast.
MR B:
Once the orange button is pressed…
JIM:
It’s like Jelly Trumpet has a life of its own.
MR B:
Now the interesting part happens once the podcast has built up steam to ninety percent…
JIM:
So, her majesty likes cricket?
ELEANOR:
Ici Jim! Ici Mot Homme
MR B:
I hadn’t finished explaining…
JIM:
Your majesty?
ELEANOR:
These people in white. It is a game non?
MR B:
[MUTTERING TO HIMESELF] It’s really cool you know…
JIM:
Yes Ma’am. It is called cricket.
ELEANOR:
Explain the game of cricket to me
JIM:
Very well. You have two sides, one out in the field and one in…
S/FX: JIM’S VOICE SPED UP
JIM:
[Cont.] And I believe the first game was played in Kent in the 16th century.
ELEANOR:
I see. And they do all of this on horseback?
JIM:
Erm…
MR B:
[MUTTERING TO HIMESELF] I suppose I could just switch the podcast off.
JIM:
No your majesty.
ELEANOR:
But they should. Much more entertaining. Then they could use those, wands…
JIM:
Wands?
ELEANOR:
Those things they hold close to their parties sensibles…
JIM:
Those are cricket bats.
ELEANOR:
Yes. Bats. They use them as weapons and charge each other. They already have the armour and a large field pour la mêlée. Spectators will thrill at the deaths…
JIM:
Deaths your majesty?
ELEANOR:
Say, first one to have five deaths on their side loses.
MR B:
That could work you know.
JIM:
Yes. That could work. Make cricket it bit livelier wouldn’t it?
MR B:
I shall write a letter to the Times. We’d have to rebrand it.
JIM:
How about ‘Cricket, Game of Death?’
MR B:
That works. Bugger! The button!
S/FX: STEAM ESCAPING AND A WHOOSH
TONY:
Tales from Jim’s Medicine Journal!
TALES FROM JIM’S MEDICINE JOURNAL
JIM:
Working with other people can be exhilarating. No matter your creative sphere. I’ve written for people and with people and decided only to write on my own.
I learnt, the hard way, that I wanted to write my own stuff.
I also learnt about working with friends. I learnt it’s not always a good idea unless you put in boundaries.
Collaboration can be sublime and a great force of creation. It hits you sometimes when you look back and realize that your original idea is now two plus two and making ten.
What I learnt is to be the ‘show runner.’ By which I mean the keeper of the flame. Staying true to yourself and your vision. By all means let other ideas in, play with them and see if it works for you. Those ideas may even be better. Then you accept. BUT if those ideas stray away from what you intended and dilute that original idea then move past them in a polite but firm manner.
The first play I put on stage I wrote with three of my friends, all actors, in mind. It was sublime. They made the play come alive and we had a lot of fun.
The second time I worked with a friend. The original play was diluted because I wasn’t strong enough to say no.
Be strong enough to say ‘no’ if the idea doesn’t sit right with your imagination. You are the show runner.
Amen!
RIFF 7
S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET THEME
JIM:
What are you doing Mr b?
MR B:
[EXCOTED] I’m working on the orange button…
JIM:
It looks more of an amber.
MR B:
With this button…What?
JIM:
I’d call it amber.
MR B:
Jim.
JIM:
Perhaps burnt ochre…
MR B:
Jim.
JIM:
No. No. It’s definitely amber…
MR B:
Jim.
JIM:
I’ve always liked amber…
MR B:
JIM!
JIM:
Yes?
MR B:
You’re colour blind.
JIM:
O’. Here’s something for you…
MR B:
Yes?
JIM:
After the micro sitcom.
TONY:
Now The Startup micro sitcom!
S/FX: THE STARTUP THEME TUNE
THE START UP: SEEK KALE
PART 2
TONY:
Our micro-sitcom, The Startup Part 2. Mary ‘The Entrepreneur’ is in a workshop ‘Eating for Victory in Business.’
S/FX: CLICK OF A BUTTON
S/FX GROUP GASPS
CLAIRE:
Yes?
MARY:
This is the ‘Eating for Victory in Business’ course.’ ‘Eliminate your appetite, destroy the competition, dominate your marketplace and look radiant.’
CLAIRE:
Yes.
MARY:
O’ right then.
S/FX: CLICK OF A BUTTON
S/FX: THE GROUP MURMURS ANGRILY. SOMEONE SAYS ‘SEEK KALE’ UNDER THEIR BREATH
CLAIRE:
This my folk is a picture. A picture to remind you of ill-considered eating. That’s right it’s Jeremy Clarkson…in swimming trunks. When you are faced with temptation hold this image in your mind, shudder, and you will follow the path of grace.
THE GROUP EXCEPT MARY:
‘Seek Kale!’
CLAIRE:
It is your right, your destiny to rule by your own iron will, without SUGAR, WITHOUT calories, to seek…
MARY’S NEIGHBOUR:
‘Seek…[THEN THINKS BETTER OF IT]
CLAIRE:
…to seek out all that is calorific, eliminate that pleasure and radiate purity. By this path you will destroy the opposition and dominate the marketplace, and yet be radiant.
S/FX: A CHAIR SCRAPPING ON A FLOOR
CLAIRE:
Where are you going?
MARY:
Starbucks.
MARY EXITS TO ECHOES OF ‘SEEKING KALE’
S/FX: THE STARTUP THEME
THE START UP: SEEK KALE
END
RIFF 8
JIM:
So, here’s the joke again
MR B:
Yes?
JIM:
The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
MR B:
A time traveler walks into a bar.
JIM:
You’ve heard it?
MR B:
Yes. Next week.
S/FX: BONGOS
ELEANOR:
Quelle?
TONY:
Puntastic!
MR B:
Well it isn’t is it?
JIM:
What?
MR B:
It wasn’t a pun was it.
JIM:
Well, no, not really.
ELEANOR:
So, what are you going to do about it Mot Homme?
MR B:
Yes Mot Homme! This is the fourth draft. The script should work by now!
ELEANOR:
Mr b. He is, er sore about his button…
JIM:
What?
MR B:
Stop changing the subject. What are you going to do about Tony saying ‘Puntastic.’
JIM:
Shoot him in the voice box.
TONY:
[SOTTO VOCE] Can I come out now?
S/FX: SOUND OF A GUN BEING FIRED FOLLOWED BY A LOUD SPLATT
JIM:
That’ll teach Tony.
ELEANOR:
But you wrote it!
JIM:
My fingers must have slipped on the keyboard.
MR B:
What did you load the gun with?
JIM:
Marmalade.
MR B:
And Tony is…
JIM:
Toast. Tony is toast.
TONY:
Puntastic!
S/FX: LIST OF THE WEEK JINGLE/MUSIC
LIST OF THE WEEK
TONY:
List of the week!
JIM:
This week. Things I do in Waiting Rooms When I don’t Have a Phone
Number one: Tell myself ‘You idiot!’ How could you forget your phone?
Number two: Look at people.
Number three: Imagine the man opposite is a werewolf.
Number four: Say to myself ‘You idiot!’ Why didn’t you bring the silver bullets?
Number five: Squint at a poster.
Number six: Admire a lady’s hair.
Number seven: Wonder if I can play with the Lego?
Number eight: Say to myself ‘You idiot! Why didn’t you bring your glasses?
Number nine: Wonder why I got here so early?
Number ten: I should have polished my shoes.
Number eleven: Wonder what I’m doing at the memory clinic.
RIFF 9
S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET THEME
JIM:
I’m writing a novel Mr b.
MR B:
Neither am I.
JIM:
That’s a bit harsh.
MR B:
Well, where is it?
JIM:
On my computer.
MR B:
Along with the rest of the script for this episode?
JIM:
Yes.
MR B:
Are we there yet?
JIM:
Where?
MR B:
The bit where I show you my NEW ORANGE BUTTON?
JIM:
No. Not yet. Not long now though!
S/FX: BUTTON BEING SWITCHED
MR B:
Before you ask. That was the blue button.
JIM:
O’.
S/FX: WAYS OF SEEING THEME
TONY:
Ways of Seeing!
JIM:
Read something you know you disagree with and see a different point of view. I do this all the time. Why? Well, it is important to see all the sides of a story.
Can you argue the other side of the case? The one you are greatly opposed to?
The point isn’t to change your mind. It may do but that is certainly not the point. The idea is to muster your arguments, prepare yourself for the twists, turns and stupidity of the other side.
Why? Well, if you are going to write a hero you want that hero to go up against someone that can match them. Otherwise you just have propaganda, or fake news in modern political voice. Which you could call ‘stupid-talk.’
Anyway, look at whatever you create with a critic’s eye.
JIM’S WORK OFFER
TONY:
Jim’s Work Offer!
JIM:
If you fancy putting on a trilogy of plays then I have just the trilogy for you. Called ‘The Good, The Bad and Italian Bob.
Each is based on a different movie genre, play one is heist movies, play two westerns and the third disaster movies.
The first play features four male actors, the second four female actors. They play each other in the other play. In play three the eight actors perform together in an upturned cruise liner in the Caribbean during a Zombie Apocalypse.
Usual stuff for me.
Email me: jelly@jellytrumpet.com if you would like to have a read and let me know if you want to put on this daft physical theatre based trilogy. Thank you!
S/FX: OUTRO JINGLE
OUTRO
TONY:
Join us in further episodes and:
• Be more creative
• Pick up tips and tricks you can put into play instantly
• Try exercises to boost your imagination
• Listen to creative guests
• And a whole lot of what we can ‘fun’
Thank you for listening
If you have any questions or ideas for Jelly Trumpet
Email us jelly@jellytrumpet.com
IDENT
TONY:
That was Jelly Trumpet ‘Making you more creative’ with Jim Kinloch and Mr b.
Sponsored by Conversion Detectives, the creative content digital marketing agency. Search Conversion Detectives.
JIM:
Now here’s Mr b playing us Xxxxx by ‘We Paint Houses’ Find the band on Facebook.
MUSIC
‘We Paint Houses’ tune.
RIFF 10
MR B:
[VERY EXCITED] The button Mr Jim?
JIM:
The orange button Mr b?
MR B:
[EAGERLY] Yes. The orange one.
JIM:
Very well Mr b.
MR B:
Here we go. Are you ready!
JIM:
I’m ready Mr b.
S/FX: A QUIET ‘THUNK’ NOISE FOLLOWED BY SOME SOFT ‘HISSING’
MR B:
Ah.
JIM:
Bit of an anticlimax that Mr b.
MR B:
Yes. Yes. It is a bit of a letdown.
JIM:
I suppose we should say our thank yous and then I can get on with writing the next episode. Who knows what I’ll write next…
MR B:
Wait! You wrote the orange button not working didn’t you?
JIM:
Well…
MR B:
Write that it works the way I wanted it to. Go on!
JIM:
Very well Mr b. I will. In the next episode.
THANK YOU’S:
JIM:
Thank you for listening. Thank you for all those that encourage Jelly Trumpet. Thank you to Mr Tony for the voice work, thank you to Ms Claire – the voice of Queen Eleanor and Mary the entrepreneur and thank you to Mr b and Kel. Stay fab.
S/FX: TUMBLEWEED BEING BLOWN ACROSS A DESERT LANDSCAPE
END