Did I find it easy writing a Christmas Special? No. The idea of a podcast episode involving Christmas crossed my mind several times while writing Jelly Trumpet but I always dismissed it. I’m not sure why? Perhaps I thought it was a bit vain, that somehow Jelly Trumpet wasn’t worth it.
You can listen to a soundbite of the episode or read the complete script here.
Mr b Asks
As often in the matters of Jelly Trumpet, Mr b will ask a question like “Why don’t we do a Christmas show?” I am immediately flummoxed by Mr b. Why not?
I was deep into writing Season 04 when the question was asked. The podcast takes another turn. It moves away from the creative bits & bobs, almost completely, to become a full on comedy show (I’ve gained confidence in my ability to write comedy, you see)?
I had an episode called ‘It’s Always the Knights Templar’ that I thought could be adapted into a Christmassy episode. It was an easy win as it featured mystery and church organists.
What is a Christmas Show?
I had to mull this over for some time. What does Christmas mean to me? Being a atheist the religious overtones were not on my mind. Christmas for me now is about a fair amount of indulgence but not too much. Fancy food and goodies can be bought but there better not be any waste. Christmas is also about sitting with loved ones and sharing a fun film.
Die Hard, is it a Christmas Film?
Is it? We have quite the argument in the show about this. ‘Home Alone’ and ‘Love Actually’ both get a mention. Queenie takes one view (she’s a mite obsessive over Alan Rickman) while Mr b and I take another view.
Pass the Quality Street
Another Christmas memory is the big tin of Quality Street and getting enough of my favourite (the green triangle), so Quality Street features along with Mr b’s special Christmas coffee, ‘Gingerbread & Spiced Plums Surprise’. You’ll have to listen to the episode or read the script to learn what the surprise is.
Wrapping A Reindeer is hard but I do accomplish this act as ‘Mikko’ is a surprise gift for the Queen.
Bring on the Fiend
I bring into the show ‘Dr Fibbs’ a nod to the Vincent Price character Dr Phibes as I love those old world villains. The crew have to get the better of Dr Fibbs to save Christmas, that is the church organists needed to play at the charity concert for ‘misjudged children’.
Christmas Special Script Excerpt
This is one of my favourite gags. There is joy in setting up gags that are essentially visual but work when you have a sound artist like Mr b. You can hear this bit by playing it on the episode post here:
S/FX: KNOCKING ON DOOR
JIM:
Ah
MR B:
AH!
QUEEN ELEANOR:
Ah!
JIM:
Would you answer the door please Tony?
QUEEN ELEANOR:
Who is it, Tony?
TONY:
Dominos.
JIM:
Now is not the time for foolish board games!
MR B:
Dominos Mr Jim. You know what they are don’t you?
JIM:
Of course, Mr b. Dominos are 28 plastic rectangles covered in dots. Why do I smell toasted cheese?
QUEEN ELEANOR:
I ordered some food for Spen, he is looking un petit jaded. Mr b. Tip the man.
S/FX: A SHORT SCREAM FOLLOWED BY A BODY FALLING DOWN STAIRS.
MR B:
Anything else your majesty?
QUEEN ELEANOR:
Tip him with money Mr b. Not tip him downstairs.
MR B:
Ah. May have crossed an invisible line. Apologies Ma’am.
Am I Satisfied with the Christmas Special?
I say it works well. I mean, Mr b has added many, many, many sleigh bells and Christmassy music. But I leave it up to you to give the thumb up or just a plain finger.
I am of course,
