Jelly Trumpet – The Search for the most wonderful celebrity
S/FX: BONGOS BEING PLAYED
QUEEN ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE:
Arrête ça Nigel.
S/FX: DOOR BELL RINGING
JIM:
What was that strange sound?
MR B:
[VERY TETCHY] The doorbell Jim. [RESIGNED] I’ll get it.
S/FX: CREAKY DOOR OPENING
MR B: [cont.]
Look Jim. It’s Greg Davies.
JIM:
Can’t be. He’s not in a television.
MR B:
Good afternoon Mr Greg Davies.
GREG:
Good afternoon…person.
JIM:
One thing Mr b:
MR B:
Yes Jim?
JIM:
He’s massive.
GREG:
I am here you know.
JIM:
How are we going to get him into the studio?
MR B:
Well…
QUEEN ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE:
He’ll have to crawl on all fours.
GREG:
What?
MR B:
Her majesty is right you know.
JIM:
She is. Thank you, your majesty. Greg if you wouldn’t mind.
GREG:
What?
JIM:
Well, if you really, really want to do the Jelly Trumpet podcast ‘Interview Countdown’ you’re have to get on all fours, like a big doggie…
MR B:
It’s for your own good Greg.
GREG:
Very well.
JIM:
What we’ve done there is turn a British comedian…
MR B:
A great British comedian…
JIM:
A great British comedian into an indoor dining area for 12.
S/FX: HUM OF AGREEMENT
MR B:
Well, I’ll put the coffee on. Coffee Greg?
GREG:
Yes. In a dog bowl please. Is that a squirrel? It’s huge!
JIM:
Yes. That’s Nigel, he comes from a family of giant squirrels in the Balkans. And this is Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine from 12th century France.
QUEEN ELEANOR:
Monsieur.
GREG:
What exactly is this madhouse?
TONY (VOICE OVER GUY):
Not a madhouse Greg. This is Jelly Trumpet.
INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN STARTS
MR B:
Well Jim, was Greg the most wonderful celebrity?
JIM:
Close