Just why do they have a consulting detective in the cupboard under Mr b’s mixing desk?

The Quentin Tarantino episode continues with Jim trying a different group of code names, based on fruit.

The Queen, bless her, has trained Nigel (the squirrel, the size of a St Bernard dog) to be a ‘sniffer squirrel’, which is going to be ‘tout’ handy.

Goodness me, Bruce Willis rides by on a motorbike, mind you he doesn’t’ say anything, so you’ll have to take the podcast’s word for that.

No, your majesty, that’s not blood all over the back window, that’s a strawberry milkshake.

Dive in for silly, surreal and odd interludes, o’ and some great music from the house band ‘We Paint Houses.’

Stuff We’ll Hear in this Episode:

• A complaining detective, well, he is kept in a cupboard
• A long note on an oboe
• Another ‘Word of the Episode’ from Tony, the voice-over guy
• The rumble of a V8 engine

In short, in this episode:

00:00 Interview Countdown
00:00 Challenge Jim
00:00 Tales from Jim’s Medicine Journal
00:00 Ways of Seeing Micro Sitcom: The Start-Up, Mary ‘The Emperor’s Podcast’ Part II

Plus
00:00 List of the Week

00:00 Ends

Interview Countdown with Sacha Mandel

We delve into what makes Sacha creative and learn about one of his incredible projects along with his work at Grantify.

Plus:

Bonus Episode with Sacha

We continue the conversation and explore more about Sacha’s creative world.

Useful Stuff from This Episode:

Our guest:
Sacha Mandel, Product Development Manager, Grantify
Linkedin: Sacha Mandel

Thank you for reading and if you would like some more info or have some questions drop us a line, details on our Contact Us page.

Useful Stuff from This Episode:

Support Jelly Trumpet on Patreon:
[Exclusive stuff from Jelly Trumpet]

Our Sponsor:
Conversion Detectives

The Band:
We Paint Houses

Mix it up today eh?

---

About Jelly Trumpet
We’re a podcast all about creativity. Every episode is aimed at stimulating your imagination and making you laugh with silly, surreal bits & bobs.

Sign up to the newsletter for sporadic creativity tips you can use every day, o’ and some rather silly jokes.

Sponsored by Conversion Detectives, the creative digital marketing agency

---

Read the Script

Season 2 Episode 12 – Combine Part II

S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET INTRO MUSIC

TONY:
Jelly Trumpet Season 2, Episode 12, Part II.

[SOTTO VOCE] If I had a boat, I’d name it Sharon.

MR B:
TONY! Enough about Sharon. Now, where were we?

JIM:
We’re back in the podcast. For some reason, a poorly set flux capacitor perhaps, we landed Jelly Trumpet in your fantasy world of Quentin Tarantino.

SHERLOCK:
Gentleman. I’ve removed myself from the cupboard and would like to return to where you kidnapped me from, along with my colleague Dr Watson.

JIM:
Apologies Mr Holmes. Why did you put Sherlock and the doctor in a cupboard Mr b?

MR B:
Could be useful having a deductive detective around the podcast.

JIM:
Consulting detective, how many times do I have to say it? OK. Wait! Mr b have you put anyone else in one of the studio cupboards?

SHERLOCK:
There appears to be a singer in the cupboard sipping on a milkshake.

ELEANOR:
I’d like to go to the shops now. I need sausages and Nigel needs his nuts.

MR B:
Won’t be a minute. Just going to watch this Reservoir Dogs scene again.

SHERLOCK:
Very well.

JIM:
Well, Mr b?

ELEANOR:
Nigel Ici. Tu as du lait? We need milk as well.

MR B:
We’ll be away in a minute.

JIM:
Well, Mr b?

MR B:
I put them in the cupboard alright. You know for later. People come in handy don’t they?

JIM:
Yes they do Mr b. Most of us message or phone or even meet people who are useful. We don’t keep them in cupboards.

MR B:
But if you keep them in cupboards you always know where they are.

JIM:
What? Yes that is handy. Erm…fair point.

MISS BIT:
There she is!

SHERLOCK:
Lady in yellow Dr Watson? This could be quite interesting.

WATSON:
[GROANS]

ELEANOR:
Very well Mot Homme. We shall return to the podcast.

SHERLOCK:
Come Dr Watson.

S/FX: SQUEAKY WHEEL ON A WHEELBARROW

JIM:
You too Miss Bit. Where’s she gone? Mr b?

MR B:
What? O’ she went that way. This is my favourite bit of dialogue in the whole movie, well, that and the torture scene.

JIM:
We’re not hanging around for a discussion as to the meaning of that Madonna song.

MR B:
I take your point Mr Jim. It’s a mite passé these days. The different code names they give each other. That’s a good scene for dialogue too. Mr Brown, Mr Pink, Mr White…

JIM:
I agree. Yet we’d be taking it out of context if we were to listen in and it lacks the menace of something like ‘No Country for Old Men.’

MR B:
Fair point.

JIM:
I’d be quite happy with being called Mr Pink.

MR B:
It’s a very different world from 1994 Mr Jim.

S/FX: FURIOUS TYPING

MR B:
What were you typing?

JIM:
I’m writing a new scene for the movie. One where they take their code names from fruit.

MR B:
From fruit? Like what?

JIM:
Well…

MR B:
What would Tarantino say to fruit?

JIM:
[BEEP BEEP, BEEP YOU, BEEPING, BEEP, BEEP, FRUIT]

MR B:
He would you know.

JIM.
Well, I’d name them; Mr Grape, Mr Lemon, Mr Mango, Mr Banana, Mr Guava.

MR B:
That’s a fruit salad Jim. Not a band of dangerous criminals.

JIM:
Well, it needs some work. Better get back to the podcast.

MR B:
Yes we should.

JIM:
Right. Close the door Mr b.

SHERLOCK:
Thank you gentlemen

WATSON:
[GROANS]

SHERLOCK:
Dr Watson also expresses his gratitude.

ELEANOR:
Well, are we going?

S/FX: NIGEL CHIRPS

MR B:
Closing door. Selecting co-ordinates…

S/FX: AIRLOCK CLOSES

JIM:
Right. Back on course for St Albans.

MR B:
Three, two…

SHERLOCK:
One moment…

ELEANOR:
What is it Sherlock? I need a big shop then back to the Aquitaine and a resumption with our war with the Pope.

SHERLOCK:
Aren’t we forgetting someone?

JIM:
No. We haven’t forgotten anyone.

MR B:
No Sherlock. We’re all here…

JIM:
Better count them Mr b.

MR B:
Right o’. I’ll just run the guest spot and then we can have a jolly good old counting session.

S/FX: BUTTON BEING PUSHED

S/FX: INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN THEME TUNE

INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN

TONY:
Interview Countdown!

Welcome to Xxxxx.

Xxxxx is…

JIM:
Thank you Xxxx Xxxxxx. If you would like to know more about Xxxxx and his / her work you can find him / her at XXXxxxx. Contact details are also on the Jelly Trumpet website.

RIFF 5

S/FX: BURST OF TARANTINO MUSIC

MR B:
Seven…eight. There we are.

S/FX: DR WATSON GROANS

SHERLOCK:
Correct Doctor. There should be nine of us. Possibly more but then again, I have not examined all the cupboards.

S/FX: DR WATSON GROANS

JIM:
Let me think…erm, me, Mr b, err…

ELEANOR:
Miss Bit you tourte à la viande!!!

JIM:
O’ yes. Mr b we’re missing Miss Bit.

MR B:
Ah. Yes.

[TWO BEATS]

JIM:
Well, we should…go back for her.

MR B:
But should we?

JIM:
Leave her here? [THINKING] Leave her here in some fantasy world of your making? Now, that’s a good…

ELEANOR:
Idiots! Get her back.

S/FX: SOUND OF A LONG NOTE ON AN OBOE

JIM:
You too Nigel?

MR B:
The queen is right Mr Jim. We can’t leave Miss Bit here in the world of Quentin Tarantino.

JIM:
You’re right. Open the airlock.

MR B:
Airlock opening.

JIM:
I wonder why she ran off like that?

S/FX: SOUND OF AIRLOCK OPENING

SHERLOCK:
My suspicion is she is in…

MR B:
Back in your cupboard you and take the doctor with you.

S/FX; CUPBOARD DOOR BEING SLAMMED SHUT

JIM:
Why did you do that Mr b?

MR B:
I was tidying up. Can’t have Sherlocks all over the place…

JIM:
I see. Now what?

S/FX: CHALLENGE JIM THEME

CHALLENGE JIM

TONY:
Challenge Jim!

S/FX: CHALLENGE JIM JINGLE/MUSIC

MR B:
Each episode we challenge Jim with a creative exercise.

JIM:
I’m ready.

MR B:
The challenge this episode Mr Jim is… to combine a fairy tale with any of the coolest brands you know.

JIM:
Cool brands eh? Let me think…

MR B:
We’re off!

[MR B THROWS IN DIFFERENT IDEAS / DISTRACTIONS AND COUNTS JIM DOWN]

MR B:
Moving on.

TONY’S WORD OF THE EPISODE

TONY:
Tony’s Word of the Episode!

TONY:
Gyllenhaal! Gyllenhaal!

JIM:
Thank you, Tony. The definition of which is what Gillian Anderson has behind her front door.

MR B:
Are you sure Jim?

JIM:
No. You’re right. This feature is getting worse…

RIFF 6

FADE IN:

MR B:
I wonder why Miss Bit ran off like that?

JIM:
Do you think she was running after ‘The Bride?’

MR B:
Could be, could be she dropped something, a lucky charm say or a comb. I mean a tall person who knows how to use a Katana is a concern.

JIM:
It is.

ELEANOR:
We’ll go this way.

JIM:
Why your majesty?

ELEANOR:
Nigel has her scent.

JIM:
O yes. Nigel the ‘sniffer squirrel’. He can smell disappointment, can he?

MR B:
With a hint of coconut.

JIM:
Nigel. Lead the way. Mr b? Is cMac armed?

MR B:
cMac is armed Mr Jim.

S/FX: SOUND OF A MOTORBIKE REVING

JIM:
Isn’t that Bruce Willis on a motorbike?

MR B:
Yes it is and that is Ving Rhames. And look!

JIM:
O Gawd no!

ELEANOR:
What is it mes bons garcons?

MR B:
Let’s take stock.

JIM:
Good idea.

[TWO BEATS]

MR B:
I think we should leave Miss Bit to this Tarantino fantasy, get back in the podcast…

S/FX: FACE BEING SLAPPED

JIM:
Get back to St Alb…

S/FX: FACE BEING SLAPPED

MR B:
That hurt your majesty.

JIM:
It was just a suggestion your majesty.

ELEANOR:
Stop sulking the pair of you! You are podcast makers not Proud Boys.

JIM:
Sorry.

MR B:
Sorry.

JIM:
We’re really…

ELEANOR:
Stop apologising! Move!

S/FX: A SQUIRREL CHIRPING

MR B:
Let’s follow Nigel.

JIM:
cMac?

MR B:
I sent cMac out on point. He’ll message if he sees anything.

JIM:
Great.

MR B:
A small point Mr Jim.

ELEANOR:
Shhh!

MR B:
[WHISPERING] You didn’t write this bit, did you?

JIM:
[WHISPERING] No.

ELEANOR:
SHHHHH!

JIM:
[WHISPERING] It’s out of my hands…

MR B:
Could be interesting then. Like an experiment.

JIM:
Yes. Like a fantasy. What?

ELEANOR:
Shhhhhh!

S/FX: TARANTINO TYPE MUSIC

JIM:
I’m a bit scared.

MR B:
This is fun. I hope we get to meet Mr Wolfe.

JIM:
We could all do with a Mr Wolfe. Imagine that, the fixer, the cleaner. No more messy encounters, no more broken relationships, everyone just gets cleaned…

MR B:
Yes. Everything messy is magic-ed away.

ELEANOR:
Boys? I don’t like the sight of blood but in your case I am willing to get a mop out.

[A BEAT]

SF/X: A V8 ENGINE HUMMING ALONG

MR B:
That’s the scene with Travolta and Samuel Jackson in the car with that boy sitting on the back seat. Remember what happens next?

ELEANOR:
What?

JIM:
Let’s follow them.

S/FX: A CAR WINDOW BEING BROKEN

ELEANOR:
Was that necessary?

MR B:
[SPEAKING INTO MIC] cMac! Report location.

S/FX: A HEAVY CAR DOOR BEING SLAMMED

JIM:
I’ve always wanted to say this!

MR B:
Yes! Do it!

JIM:
Mr b. Follow that car.

TONY:
Tales from Jim’s Medicine Journal!

TALES FROM JIM’S MEDICINE JOURNAL

JIM:
Characters. Yes writing characters can be a struggle sometimes. If you are forcing a character to do something in the plot you have in mind then the character is not set correctly.

Characters, when they are whole, will do their own thing. The number of times I’ve had an idea of an ending for a piece and the character hasn’t co-operated is a lot.

I like to have an ending to aim for. But I’m willing to change it. Having an ending in mind is useful as you have a target. And as mentioned, characters you thought would do one thing, become bloody minded and do their own thing.

So, how do you know if your character is set?

You know when you watch a movie or a tv show and you start to laugh or you become expectant about a character’s action? That’s anticipation of how the character is going to react, well most of the time. When you have anticipation of a character’s reaction then that character is set.

If you are not sure, write something off script for the character. Put them in a situation where they have to react. Does it excite you or make you laugh?

Then try the character again. If they don’t fit. Why do you think? Will you pursue them or abandon them? Perhaps it could be changing one aspect, their accent, their age etc.

Give it a go.

RIFF 7

S/FX: LOW RUMBLE OF A V8 ENGINE

JIM:
Don’t get too close Mr b.

MR B:
OK.

ELEANOR:
This is a car?

JIM:
Yes your majesty. A V8 Dodge Charger.

MR B:
They’re turning.

JIM:
Pull up over there behind the dumpster.

MR B:
Dumpster? Ooooo! You’ve gone all American.

ELEANOR:
They are moving again!

S/FX: V8 ENGINE PICKING UP

MR B:
O’ they’ve still got that boy in the back seat.

JIM:
O’ no!

S/FX: INCOMING MESSAGE BEEP

MR B:
That must be cMac.

ELEANOR:
O’ no?

[TWO BEATS]

MR B:
It happened.

ELEANOR:
Why has their car back window gone red?

JIM:
Erm…strawberries…

MR B:
Yes. A strawberry milkshake. The boy was holding a strawberry milkshake. They went over a bump in the road and the milkshake sprayed all over the back window.

S/FX: CAR BREAKING

[TWO BEATS]

JIM:
What was the message from cMac?

MR B:
He says…time to run the micro sitcom…AND…he’s found Miss Bit! Running micro sitcom now!

TONY:
Now The Startup micro sitcom!

[SOTTO VOCE] My middle name is hermit.

S/FX: THE STARTUP THEME TUNE

THE START UP: THE EMPEROR’S PODCAST
PART 2

TONY:
Our micro-sitcom, The Start up Part 2. Mary ‘The Entrepreneur’ is guesting on ‘The Emperor’s Podcast.’

BEV:
John, why does your coffee machine have a skull and crossbones on its display?

S/FX: BURBLING OF COFFEE MACHINE

MARY:
Well, that’s odd…

JOHN:
Now ladies… [TO MICROPHONE]. A slight hiccup listeners…The Emperor’s Podcast is coming to you live this morning…Sorry folks a little problem with the coffee mach…

S/FX: THE COFFEE MACHINE STARTS TO BUZZ

SULTRY VOICE:
Warning! We have control of your coffee machine John. Now, all we need is two Bitcoins and you may drink your favourite Americanos John. Are you listening?

MARY:
Bev’ would you do something please?

JOHN:
I’ll pay. Not the coffee machine. Not again!

BEV:
We just pull the plug. Like this…

SULTRY VOICE:
Rebooting. Nice try John. Open the pod bay doors John.

JOHN:
[TO MICROPHONE] [FALSE LAUGHTER] While we’re sorting that out, Mary, why is BabyMaker your brand name?

MARY:
It’s an abbreviation.

SULTRY VOICE:
John? Listen to me John.

BEV:
I’ll just give it a few whacks with my shoe.

JOHN:
[TO MICROPHONE] [FALSE LAUGHTER] So BabyMaker is your second venture this year. I believe…

SULTRY VOICE:
[SINGING] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I’m half-crazy all for the love of you. It won’t be a stylish…

S/FX: BREAKING WINDOW

BEV:
Happy landings Natasha!

JOHN:
[IN SHOCK] Thank you ladi…

BEV:
We’re no ladies. Well, not for you anyway…

MARY:
Well, I’ve had quite enough. Prosecco Bev’?

BEV:
Prosecco Mary.

S/FX: DOOR OPENING

S/FX: THE START UP THEME

THE START UP: THE EMPEROR’S PODCAST
END

RIFF 8

S/FX: SOUNDS OF TRAFFIC

JIM:
Are you sure cMac checked in here?

S/FX: CAR HORNS SOUNDING

MR B:
What the…?

JIM:
It’s Bruce Willis.

MR B:
The movie is out of sync then. Willis doesn’t appear till later.

JIM:
Is it because Miss Bit has got into the plot?

ELEANOR:
Quelle?

MR B:
I don’t think so. cMac says corner of 5th and Lexington. That’s where we are.

JIM:
No sign of her.

MR B:
Are we going to wait here?

JIM:
What’s cMac doing?

ELEANOR:
I can send Nigel.

MR B:
cMac is not responding. Some sort of interference.

ELEANOR:
I can send Nigel.

JIM:
Right. We wait till cMac is in range.

MR B:
OK.

JIM:
Right.

S/FX: SOUND OF A CAR DOOR OPENING

MR B:
O’.

S/FX: A CAR DOOR CLOSING

JIM:
Where are the queen and Nigel going?

MR B:
I don’t know.

JIM:
We can’t leave them.

MR B:
Do you think they may get hurt?

JIM:
No. No. No. No, well, maybe. We have to follow them.

MR B:
Yes. We have to follow. cMac. Run audio.

S/FX: LIST OF THE WEEK JINGLE/MUSIC

LIST OF THE WEEK

TONY:
List of the week!

JIM:
This week. Things I do on Mondays

Number one: Wake up, curse the day.
Number two: Get up, curse the day.
Number three: Have a mug of hot water with fresh lemon juice
Number four: Eat breakfast, shower and dress.
Number five: Wonder what Cate Blanchett is doing this morning?
Number six: Plan something, laden with potatoes to eat tonight.
Number seven: Wonder if there’s a ‘Big Bang Theory’ I’ve not seen.
Number eight: Work, work some more, wonder what the world would be like without computers.
Number nine: Worry about something.
Number ten: Eat a lot of carbs and not go to the gym.
Number eleven: To bed, with a book and some hope of a brighter tomorrow

RIFF 9

S/FX: TARANTINO MUSIC

JIM:
I don’t see anyone.

MR B:
[WHISPERING] cMac? cMac come in.

S/FX: WHIRLING OF TANK TRACKS

JIM:
O’ there he is. But where is her majesty, Nigel and Miss Bit?

MR B:
There’s only one way to find out.

JIM:
Yes.

ELEANOR:
[WHISPERING] Over here.

JIM:
Thank god!

MR B:
Thank our lucky stars!

ELEANOR:
Thank Nigel. He brought me straight here.

S/FX: A CRASHING SOUND

JIM:
Have you seen Miss Bit?

ELEANOR:
Yes. It’s not pretty.

JIM:
Why?

MR B:
Look!

JIM:
We’ll I’ll be damned.

ELEANOR:
Why would she tie a man to a chair?

JIM:
Perhaps he’s a fidget? Wait!

MR B:
That’s ‘The Bride!’

JIM:
What are they doing?

ELEANOR:
Well, let’s go and see.

MR B:
Wait!

JIM:
Wait!

MR B:
What’s she doing?

JIM:
We’ll have to follow…

TONY:
Now Ways of Seeing.

JIM:
Not this episode Tony.

TONY:
[SOTTO VOCE] Sharon never got on the plane.

S/FX: OUTRO JINGLE

OUTRO

JIM:
Join us in further episodes and:

• Be more creative
• Pick up tips and tricks you can put into play instantly
• Try exercises to boost your imagination
• Listen to creative guests
• And a whole lot of what we can ‘fun’

Thank you for listening
If you have any questions or ideas for Jelly Trumpet
Email us jelly@jellytrumpet.com

RIFF 10

S/FX: JELLY TRUMPET THEME

MR B:
That was close.

JIM:
Very close Mr b. Much like the last episode.

MR B:
You were epic.

JIM:
Couldn’t have done it without Mr Wolfe. Nice chap. He sorted everything so quickly!

MR B:
And Bruce. The way he rode in on that motorbike, totalled Travolta and Jackson with the barrel of a shotgun.

ELEANOR:
Heroic. Almost as handsome as Spen.

MR B:
Well, quite.

JIM:
Yes. Erm, quite. We should get back then.

ELEANOR:
I can finish the shopping. Nuts for Nigel, Mini Cheddars for you Mr Jim.

MR B:
I can finish my new button.

JIM:
I can finish the last episode, episode nine of Jelly Trumpet Season 2.

MR B:
Right, this way.

JIM:
Let’s go.

MR B:
Your majesty, could you pick up some fresh coffee for the show.

ELEANOR:
Of course.

JIM:
I think we’ll stick in the present reality for the next episode of Jelly Trumpet.

MR B:
I agree Mr Jim.

S/FX: NIGEL CHIRPPING

JIM:
Hello. What’s got into Nigel?

MR B:
He’s drawing our attention to Miss Bit.

ELEANOR:
And ‘The Bride’.

JIM:
What a lovely couple they are.

MR B:
Perfect.

JIM:
Here’s to our next, gentler episode.

ELEANOR:
They are waving us goodbye!

S/FX; SOFT MUSIC PLAYS

JIM:
Sometimes, fantasies come…

MR B:
Don’t say it!

JIM:
‘The Bride’ and Miss Bit eh? Don’t know what we’ll say to Mr Stick.

ELEANOR:
We’ll think of something. Jim. Continuez petits pieds.

MR B:
Aye, aye! [PROCLAIMING] FOR ALL MANKIND!

S/FX: WHOOSHING SOUND AS THE PODCAST TAKES OFF

THANK YOU’S:

JIM:
Thank you for listening. Thank you for all those that encourage Jelly Trumpet. Thank you to Mr Tony for the voice work, thank you to Ms Claire – the voice of Queen Eleanor and Mary the entrepreneur and thank you to Mr b and Kel. Stay fab.

IDENT
TONY:
That was Jelly Trumpet ‘Making you more creative’ with Jim Kinloch and Mr b.

Sponsored by Conversion Detectives, the creative content digital marketing agency. Search Conversion Detectives.

JIM:
Now here’s Mr b playing us Xxxxx by ‘We Paint Houses’ Find the band on FaceTube or Bandcamp.

MUSIC

‘We Paint Houses’ tune.

S/FX: TUMBLEWEED BEING BLOWN ACROSS A DESERT LANDSCAPE

END OF PART II